TO CHOOSE YOUR OWN WAY
by Gilgamesh1
Summary: I'm back. I came up with a new story . This story will deal with a largely unexplored theme in Eva: Shinji's feelings for his father and his feelings towards Kaji. Who did Shinji really see as a father in Eva?


Disclaimer: Don't own Evangelion. Yet. Oh, but I will my pretties, I will. Um, and don't sue. It would be really stupid and pointless and stuff.  
  
Author's notes: New story. This one I think I can work with. I have a pretty strong feeling about this. This story will, in part, revolve around Shinji's feelings of abandonment and his loyalties to his father as opposed to his loyalties to the man whom he wishes was his father. This chapter may seem a little slow but I will use it as something that I can build off of. Oh, and my first story is not exactly dead. I just need to revise it some. I would have worked on it and this other story sooner but I have a tiring job as well as college to deal with. So you understand I am sure. Thank you.  
  
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With eyes darting towards the door, Kaji inserted the disk into the MAGI's central computer. He was in one of the lowest levels of NERV headquarters; a level that was not even in the plans that SEELE had provided for him much less the one that the JSSDF had given him. The sound of the MAGI running the program that SEELE had provided him with was faintly audible to Kaji as he looked all around him for some NERV security measure that he might have missed. He new that at any moment the security monitors that he had disabled could come back online. Suddenly the screen in front of him changed and the even the most sensitive of files were decrypted. I'm in!  
  
Kaji smiled as he began his search through out NERV's super computer; though he may work for NERV, as well as SEELE and the JSSDF he owed loyalty to none of the three. He worked for himself, always seeking the truth about the Second Impact and the men who caused it. More importantly he wanted to know what their intentions were now. When he had that information he would be able to turn the tables on the shadowy organization of SEELE and those connected to them. Even His Supreme Lordship, the commander, will never know what hit him, Kaji thought smugly. But first, before he could do anything he had to live, and those prospects were not looking to good as the guards began to return to their post at the door. He new that they would eventually return despite the fact that one of his assistants that the JSSDF had implanted in NERV for just this sort of thing would only be able to create a diversion for so long before they would return. Kaji was not sure what sort of diversion his fellow spy was creating, but that was probably because he was not yet absolutely sure who he or she was yet. For all he new it was Ibuki. But then again, probably not.  
  
Kaji, after finding the files he had come for, began to download to them to the CD he had brought for this. He would first find out what was on it of course before he decided just what it was that he would share with the JSSDF. Can't let them know too much. If they new half the stuff that I do about NERV they would simply come in with guns firing and any chance I or anyone else would have of getting to the bottom of SEELE or the commander would go right out the window. I need more time to get to the truth before I can alert the JSSDF to what is going on here. Of course time was never a thing he had on his side. Now was a perfect example of that. His watch began beeping, indicating that the computer's to the security cameras were about to come back online. Damn, not yet. Kaji removed his disk from the computer and reset the MAGI's program to what it had been, and headed to the door.  
  
Ten minutes later Kaji was on the escalator and heading for his car. Kaji wondered if the commander new about how close he was coming to the truth.  
  
* * *  
  
"He's been at it again, sir," said a weary Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki.  
  
"Second time this week," noted Gendo as he went to his desk and sat down in his chair.  
  
"Did he actually get something important this time?"  
  
"Yes, apparently SEELE is helping him. Though I would have honestly thought it impossible for them to make something for him that would have allow him to hack into the MAGI so easily."  
  
"Foolish. SEELE has been working with its own MAGI computers for sometime now. It would make sense that they would be able to develop software that would be able to decrypt our files if installed directly. What did information did he steal?"  
  
"I am still examining that, but it would seem that one of the files he took were on Unit - 00. "  
  
"Indeed? I am getting tired of his intrusions? We may need to take steps to discourage him from these little adventures of his."  
  
"Kill him," asked the Sub-Commander, with an almost hopeful note in his voice.  
  
"No. He has already smuggled out of SEELE invaluable data on the Mass Production Evas. I now know how advanced they are and when SEELE will be finished with them. Kaji cannot be replaced yet or else I would have already dealt with him. Still there might be other ways."  
  
"Threaten his family."  
  
"None. Died in Second Impact."  
  
"Threaten his charge?"  
  
"He would know that it was a bluff. We can not do anything that would kill her or even anything that would cause her synch to drop, which would include something as simple as making her unhappy. She is our premier pilot and thus we have to handle her delicately. Pilot Ikari has still not realized his full talent and thus Sohryu is still our best chance of defeating the angels."  
  
"Threaten his lover?"  
  
"She is the only thing keeping the pilot of Eva Unit- 01 here. We need to maintain him, so she is off limits as well."  
  
Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki scowled down at The Commander. "So what do we do?"  
  
The Commander pondered this as his eyes looked upon the sephiroth carved on his office ceiling. "For now we will continue feeding him false data. Fortunately he knows nothing of The Mother yet, despite having seen her, or else he would have alerted the JSSDF and we would now be fending off an invasion. Should he get any closer than he is now to our plans we will have to reevaluate his usefulness as well as possible options for how he may be dealt with."  
  
The Sub-Commander sighed, he hated to take a risk like this but he knew Commander Ikari was right. Ryouji continued to give The Commander regular updates on the JSSDF and what they were doing as well as where their line of thought was going. And with the information he brought out of SEELE it was clear that Kaji could never be replaced as a spy for The Commander. Still these trespasses could only be tolerated for so long. He sighed and finished his report," so we will complete the inspection of the database and see what other files he took. Dr. Akagi thinks she can keep him out now, so it may be we won't have to worry about him anymore."  
  
The Commander did not even bother to respond to that statement. "Dismissed."  
  
"Yes, sir." Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki saluted and turned to leave Commander Ikari's office.  
  
"Has Dr. Akagi finished her report on Rei's ability to absorb Lilithian bio-matter," asked Gendo, just before Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki's hand touched the door knob.  
  
"Yes, sir. Insufficient. She predicts that it will remain that way until she manifests a core."  
  
"And did she have any thoughts on this?"  
  
"Only that when Rei does we will finally have all of the necessary components for Third Impact."  
  
"I see."  
  
"Regretfully this model of Rei is, as you know, inferior to the first one and thus cannot really be expected to live up to the firsts standards. While the first Rei may have manifested a core immediately after her soul was developed off of Lilith's and infused in her shell, this second Rei's genetic structure is to out of balanced between its angel and human donors to be able to develop as smoothly as the last ones. Which, needless to say, is why we have to assist her with virtually every physiological development that her angel half makes with the various therapies and medication that she is provided with. It's rather confusing to, considering that she has more angel genes than her predecessor. The two sets of genes simply do not seem to want to work together unfortunately.?  
  
"Dr. Akagi suggested the real root of the problem could be psychological in nature did she not?"  
  
"Yes, but there is no way for us to tell yet. Time will tell I suppose."  
  
"Based on Rei's current rate of development how soon now can we expect her to develop a core?"  
  
"Dr. Akagi is working on that. She says she doesn't have an answer yet. Reis progress is simply to erratic."  
  
"Did she make any suggestions?"  
  
"No. She merely said that Rei may have to be replaced with a superior model. She created one that she guarantees will serve our purposes, but first we have to get rid of this one."  
  
Gendo smirked, "Dr. Akagi never did like Rei."  
  
"."  
  
"I do not wish to take the risks of damaging Rei's soul with another transfer. Souls are simply to hard to create as it is, particularly when they are based off of an angel's. When we create one we risk damaging the soul of the being we are copying. We will continue to develop this Rei. For now"  
  
"."  
  
"Dismissed."  
  
"Yes, sir."  
  
  
  
* * *  
  
  
  
Shinji laid sprawled on his futon. Eyes shut and SDAT turned on, this was Shinji's definition of being relaxed. He needed to relax considering the pressures of the life he lived, angel attacks every other month, being inside of a giant monster who sends to his mind the impression that it wants to both comfort him and devour him all at once, working for a father that he still thinks about but is utterly indifferent to him, school exams, and... "Ikari, Shinji, get your butt out of bed. I want breakfast and its your turn again," and having his fiery roommate for an alarm clock.  
  
Shinji groaned and pulled himself out of bed. It was Sunday and he had been hoping to sleep in. Shinji stumbled around as he put on his clothes thinking that if only he was faster at paper, rock, and scissors he wouldn't have to do so much of the housework. Misato had at least gone easy on him.  
  
"Are you even up yet? What are you doing?"  
  
"I'm coming, just. just give me a chance to get dressed. Please? I'll have breakfast ready for you in a moment."  
  
Half an hour later Shinji was sitting down with Auska eating the waffles he had made for his and Auska's breakfast. Since Shinji had made them using one of his special recipes he kept for special occasions the waffles tasted delicous. Even Auska was willing to compliment him, although grudgingly.  
  
"Not bad, though not anywhere near the standards I am accustomed to."  
  
Shinji almost blushed at the compliment. Deep down he knew that it was undignified to accept such a compliment but he was always happy to get praise no matter how it was given or what the source was.  
  
Auska, who was now looking at the now silent Shinji began to grow annoyed that he was not saying anything. To break the silence, which was grating on Auska's nerves, Auska kept talking, "what do you plan to do today? Another day of lazing around the house I assume." Silence. Auska rolled her eyes up, wondering why she had even bothered to speak to the dumpkhof. "Baka."  
  
Shinji cringed slightly but said nothing. What was there to say? Sighing softly, Shinji got up from the table and went to the phone. Shinji dialed up Kensuke's number and waited for him to pick up. Finally he heard the phone on the other side being picked up and Kensuke's voice spoke on the other end, Hello?  
  
"Hi, Kensuke, its Shinji.  
  
Yo, Shinji what's up.  
  
"Touji?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"What happened to Kensuke?"  
  
  
  
We're using a speakerphone, said Kensuke, his voice sounding more distant than Touji's. So what's up?  
  
  
  
"Can I come over?"  
  
Sure, said Kensuke.  
  
Bring Blood Omen 2 with you would ya, yelled Touji from the background.  
  
"Ok, I'll be right over."  
  
Authors notes:  
  
Ok, I think this is a major improvement over my last story. Some people wondered why I didn't continue it. Along with the fact that I didn't like the way I presented it there was a problem with inspiration. My last story suffered from to little forethought if nothing else. This time I have an idea of where I am going. 


End file.
